Weight by proxy

Peeled, cut, chopped, diced, or ‘ready-mixed’ – chunks of the kitchen are fast becoming someone-else-does-the-heavy-work zones – a boon for those struggling with work and domestic demands.

“You just have to buy our cut, packaged vegetables... we have special trained staff who will eat them here for you, so you don’t have to waste your precious time and gas cooking it!”

And anyone who has survived grim battles with the outer skin of a sambar onion appreciates the value in being offered a whole packet of them peeled and ready for use.

The other day, looking at an array of these packaged easy-way-outs, a customer was overheard musing, “If only they’d discover a way by which you could eat all those fried or sugar-coated No-Nos, without actually eating them.”

There’s a thought.

You choose half kg this, quarter kg that, and a TV-watching-cup-of-something-else... and a professional ‘eater’, bound by law to exercise and take other health-related precautions, gets to wolf them all down.

What do you get out of it?

Well, if you, shackled by bonded hair and couture choices (or, in all fairness, genuine health issues), can’t even look at The Syrupy and The Fried, then the mere act of purchasing these forbidden fruits can be satisfying, and a small, rebellious little gesture against an unkind, uncompromising Fate – or spouse.

Not much – but it’s something.

Any efficient entrepreneurial type interested?