Not quite Madras, but “when sub-editors nod” it is always good for a laugh, says an anonymous reader who sent this in:

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter – Dead giveaway!

Police begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers – Now that’s taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails: Veterinarian Takes Over – What a guy!

Cold Snap Linked To Temperatures – Who would have thought!

Miners Refuse To Work After Death – No-good-for-nothin’ lazy so-and-sos!

Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant – See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope For Peace – Can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile – You think?

Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Experts Say – Guess again!

London Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide – They sure are on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges – You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?

New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group – Weren’t they fat enough?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge – He probably IS the battery charge!