In 1923, a wedding took place under the famed banyan tree in the Theosophical Society in Adyar. It was between Jayalakshmi, daughter of Ranganatha Mudaliar of Arcot, and Bhagat Ram Kumar, son of Hukum Chand Kumar of Quetta in the North West Frontier Province. The bride was 19, the bridegroom 26.

It was in July, traditionally an ‘auspicious’ month for weddings in South India, so undoubtedly there must have been many weddings being celebrated on that day. But this one was different, for the bride was South Indian and the bridegroom was from the North. Contrary to what might be expected, given the social mores in India at the time, it was not a runaway affair. It had the blessings (indeed, had been arranged) of the fathers who were both Theosophists. There were no mothers, for both the bride and the groom had lost their mothers when young. Many leading Theosophists were there to bless the couple, including Annie Besant and George Arundale. Annie Besant gave them an ornate silver vase as a wedding present and Arundale a clock.

Looking back on the event now, it occurs to me that both mothers, by dying, had set in motion the events leading to this union. For Jayalakshmi was sent to study in far-off Benares (as it was then known) when she was eight years old because she was a motherless child; Bhagat Ram, likewise, was sent to Benares for schooling because, it was hinted, his step-mother was not good to him.

The school in Benares was the Theosophical School in Kamacha. It was a rocky start for my mother who was fresh out of Kurnool and spoke neither Hindi nor English. But she was determined to stay, she later told us, because she hated her teacher in Kurnool so much!

The next ten formative years were spent at Kamacha in the Theosophical School and College. Undoubtedly they were a very special part of her life, for she never ceased telling us tales of her school friends, teachers and escapades. She was troop leader of the Girl Guides when Lady Baden Powell visited. She and her classmates, who were a heady mix of Bengalis, Biharis, Burmese Indians, Kashmiris, Mahrattas, Punjabis, Sindhis and other South Indians, would have been one of the earliest groups of women graduates in India.

Father would have been six years ahead – and that is a big difference when you are still in school. He never recalled Mother from this time. By the time he completed high school, he was one of a select group of young Indians chosen by Arundale to be sent to England for higher studies. The group included, amongst others, J. Krishnamurti and his brother Nithya. They left India in 1913. My father went to Oxford. World War I intervened and most of them did not return till 1918.

Around 1922, upon re-visiting Kamacha. Father saw Jaya ‘running in the rain’ and decided that this was the girl he wanted to marry. All his life he wore an enamelled ring in the shape of a shell with a blue band in the centre, with JAYA on it in gold letters. As a girl I loved this romantic slant to the way Father and Mother had come together. Mother was more circumspect. Questioning her embarrassed her, and she always brushed off my attempts to get her to open out the story. This dichotomy in their characters was a part of our family ambience.

Father the stereotypical ‘sentimental’ Punjabi. Mother the more ‘down-to-earth’ Tamilian. Their shared Benares experience and Theosophical background were a bond resulting in shared interests. For both, friendships forged in school were lifelong ties and these friends often visited our home.

The marriage, if not quite as romantic as I imagined, was nevertheless groundbreaking. It was an ‘arranged marriage’, but an arranged marriage pre-empted by a young man who had fallen in love after a passing glance. The wedding broke conventions of caste, religion (Father was a Sikh), and the restrictions of geographic region. There were not many such marriages in India at the time. One of the handful of places where it could possibly have happened, was Adyar under the spreading banyan tree in the gardens of the Theosophical Society.

Education was an important aspect of Theosophical work in India in the early 20th Century. With some breaks over the years, Father’s working life as an educator was in association with the Besant Theosophical College in Madanapalle, for most of the time as Principal. In this role he succeeded eminent educationists like Ernest Wood (the founder), Dr. Cousins and C.S. Trilokekar. The College, founded in 1915, will celebrate 100 years as an educational institution next year.

Mother, during the early years of her marriage went to Shantiniketan where she studied painting with Nanda Lal Bose. She also completed the Montessori Teachers’ course with Dr. Maria Montessori in Adyar. My memory of her role in Madanapalle is as the mover and shaker behind cultural events. She conducted painting classes on campus, organised exhibitions, and produced plays when she was not running the girls’ hostel or supervising the College gardens.

The banyan tree is a strong, standing symbol of continuity, change and regeneration. My parents’ union lasted sixty years. The family that started with Jaya and Bhagat now includes Andhras, Konkans, Mahrattas and Tamilians as well as Americans, Australians, Chinese and Canadians, and is spread over five countries. – (From: South of the Adyar River by K.V.S. Krishna and K. Ravi Menon.)