Only if...

So you think you’re fit, eh?

I can either sit like this or eat. I can’t do both at the same time!

The ‘gym-ing’, the trendy outfits – even your water bottle – or rather ‘sports bottle’ – have that mandatory lean and hungry look.

But do you know the real fitness test?

The ground-level yelai sapaad.

That’s right – anyone can handle the table-top yelai sapaad, where the only danger lies in rasam getting slightly carried away and landing in your lap. But ground-level?!

First, you’re expected to descend gracefully, not plonk down like a sack of coals, and that’s particularly tough on those trying to manage six yards of rebellious material.

Then, the meal.

So – If (with due apologies to the original ‘If...’ guy)... if you can sit before a huge banana leaf, feet neatly folded in, ensuring that your sartorial and culinary worlds do not collide;

If you can scoop and convey the slightly watery pachadi at the far end of the leaf to your mouth neatly, without feeding your elbow;

If you can deal firmly with protesting limbs;

And, finally, the big IF – If you can rise to your feet in one fluid move, with no right hand support, and not fall into your recent leaf – the title ‘The Fit One’ is yours, and, what is more – you’ve earned it.

But only if...