All in place

December’s here.... season of culture, and mellow (and not-so-mellow) music, close bosom-friend of dance; conspiring with ...

I’ve stretched myself completely to keep seats for you, please come fast!

Sorry, completely lost sight of the ‘point at tissue’, as a wise man once said.

To resume – here you are, earnestly sabha-ing and ragam-tanam-pallavi-ing away – and secretly dreading being asked to ‘keep place’.

This ‘keeping place’ is a harrowing personality test from Hell that ruthlessly separates the strong from the bully-able.

You grab a seat in the auditorium, then spread various belongings, displaying both imagination and ingenuity, over several seats on either side for your will-be-slightly-late companions.

You then spend what seems like hours swatting away attempts to grab seats, using discouraging, though pitying, head shakes, frowning forbiddingly at those pretending they missed your significantly placed, curled-up brochure – or through outright arguments.

Only someone who’s been glared at by a large-sized Maami, all diamonds and heavy silk, for ‘reserving’ ten seats, understands what words like ‘difficult’ really mean ... also ‘embarrassing’ and sometimes even ‘indefensible’.

So, spare your friends; be on time, and choose auditoriums with numbered seats.

Of course, you may then find that the number 28 does not necessarily follow 27.

All part of the Great Web being funny at your expense.