Asking for more

The Man from Madras Musings is certain that you have all heard of the six-faced, spear-wielding Hindu God of War. In recent years, as you also doubtless know, He as lent his name to a chain of eateries that became famous for serving what is known as fast food – of the South Indian variety. Coffee was the beverage for which the outlets were best known and it was said that most patrons stepped in for coffee and stayed on for more. MMM was one of the faithful.

There were certain drawbacks, of course. Most of the branches had standing room only. And in the few where you got seats, the serving staff would hurry you over your food with word and gesture. The idea was that the food was relatively inexpensive and of a high quality and so the chain survived by making sure it had a high turnover of patrons, throughout the day. No leisurely browsing and sluicing here, if you get MMM's meaning. On certain bad days, those waiting to be seated at tables would be let loose into the dining area and take strategic positions behind the occupied seats. From there they would glower at those already seated and all except the most hardy (or short-sighted) would wilt under these glares. Most finished their meals in record time. But it was all taken in good spirit; after all, this was fast food.

Then the prices began to rise. This too was understood by most. Inflation was to be blamed, they said, as they sipped the still delectable coffee. It is only when the portions began to become smaller that most of the devout following saw red. Does 'fast food' also mean pulling a fast one over customers, they have begun to wonder. And none more so than MMM. The coffee tumblers are becoming smaller by the day and as for the coffee inside, it is only those with exceptionally good eyesight who can locate it.

The smallness of the helpings hit MMM rather hard on the day he travelled by the double-decker train and of which journey you got a full description in the last instalment of this column. Knowing full well that catering on board was by the Railways and whose culinary skills had not exactly impressed MMM, he decided to buy his breakfast at the six-faced spear-wielding God of War's eatery which has an outlet at the station. Pongal was what MMM ordered and, he was gratified to be given a fairly large packet. How wrong they were, those who cavilled at the small helpings, MMM reflected. Once on the train and with an appetite sharpened by those around eating continuously, MMM opened his packed breakfast. He did so with a rather supercilious air, for those around were making do with ordinary railway fare while he was feasting on a takeaway breakfast from one of Chennai's best-known eating-houses.

The packet when opened revealed a bulging plastic bag of sambar. There was an equally large one filled with chutney. All very gratifying. It was just that the pongal was nowhere to be seen. MMM poked around with the thoughtfully provided plastic spoon and discovered two measly blobs of pongal, hidden under the sambar packet. A magnifying glass would have been a more appropriate item of cutlery. MMM made a meal out of the sambar and chutney. Not that anyone asked, but if they had, MMM would have replied that it was the quality that counted and not the quantity.

Library lore

Come summer and The Man from Madras Musings finds his thoughts increasingly straying towards these storehouses of books. The cool interiors, the hushed silence and the presence of similar knowledge-seeking minds fill MMM with a sense of calm. And that is needed in larger doses when it comes to summer when the heat, ruffled tempers, and the dust make for heightened stress and distress. But MMM is sorry to say that libraries, like nostalgia, are not what they used to be.

Take for instance this bibliotheque funded and run by Old Blighty. MMM was a member from the time he was a child, and a singularly cherubic one at that, in case he has not mentioned it before. In that era, and for many years after, this was a sanctuary of sorts. Even the most boisterous of children would be awed by the tomes and postpone the inevitable coughs and sneezes for a more appropriate time. But, alas, all that is a thing of the past. Some intelligent soul decided that the place needed to be livened up and the first thing that was done was the installation of bright yellow wooden flooring. Not a soul evidently bothered to consider that footfalls on wood can make for loud noises. And that is precisely what occurred. Those wishing to read in peace and quiet now have to do so amidst a continuous grating noise in the background and several members walking around, making sounds over which they have no control.

The next addition was a meeting space and conversation area. In the middle of a library! Talk shows became frequent affairs and it was most disconcerting to read, say, a Wodehouse while a voice in the background intoned about the economic crisis. The last straw was when the old staff was replaced with new ones who had no idea about library etiquette. There are now phones installed within the reading area and the staff has to frequently answer calls and talk into them for long periods of time. That puts paid to silence of any kind. And, as a consequence, members now think they can answer calls on their cell phones as well!

Because of all this, MMM let his membership lapse, after almost four decades during which he had transferred it to whichever city he had lived in. A sad parting, but then you need to move with the times or if not at least move away from them. But that is not the end of the story.

The other day, MMM was in a library of a hallowed club in the city. A member who appeared to be in communion with his immortal soul for over thirty minutes with eyes shut suddenly sprang to life and began talking into his cell phone. "I am in the library," he roared and continued talking. Unable to bear it any longer, MMM walked up to him and indicated by gesture that he ought to go out to speak on his phone. "The club rule is that my phone should be on silent mode when I am in the library," he said. "Which it is. It does not say anywhere that I too ought to be silent." So much for civilisation. MMM walked away with the consolation that at least in this library, unlike the library in another hallowed club, breakfast is not served to members!

Wake up, Chennai

The Man from Madras Musings was at the Central Station for but a short while, may be half an hour. But the picture alongside shows the volume of garbage that accumulated in one platform during that time. Where are we going, wonders MMM.

– MMM