Who Enforces Law on the Law?

Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes is a Latin phrase that The Man from Madras Musings had picked up somewhere and stored for showing off in future. And the opportunity it seems has come. Translated into English it says, “Who will guard the guards?” and that is what came to MMM’s mind when he read a news item concerning regulating the police force in our city of Madras that is Chennai.

Apparently, the latest missive from up top in the force is that the constabulary in charge of traffic ought not to congregate under trees in small groups waiting to pounce on traffic violators but to focus more on regulating traffic by standing in ones and twos at various hotspots. As to how this latest in an already existing list of regulations will fare is anybody’s guess. MMM is of the view that this too will pass and remain in the books for future generations to wonder at. Of course, if it does get implemented in letter and spirit, there will no happier person than MMM who has often been pounced upon for imagined violations.

MMM wonders if you have noticed it but of late, the enforcers of law have taken to forming collectives, most often under shade-bearing trees. MMM is the last to look askance at this behaviour for in his view these men and women are more to be pitied than censured. They are forever in the heat and dust dealing with wanton violations of traffic rules and yet earn the ire of just about everyone. Who would want to work like that? And yet they do. And so, if they collect under trees, may they do so by all means is MMM’s considered view. But it is their habit of stalking their prey and pouncing on them out of nowhere that MMM has much to complain about.

The modus operandi is quite good and even in this there is a pecking order. The seniormost in the herd, and often this person is the bulkiest, prefers to remain seated on a two-wheeler deep in the shade of a tree. He/she is seen engrossed in conversation with a couple of middle-order constables while the hunter-gatherers peer through the branches at the approaching traffic, their khakhi forming a perfect camouflage against the tree trunk. As the traffic lights change, these foot soldiers brace themselves, awaiting the first wave of violators. As they approach, these brave linesmen and women jump on them and steer those caught away to the tree. You could be in the deepest of Africa watching the migration of wildebeest.

An interrogation of sorts then begins, the senior person raised from torpor with amazing alacrity conducting it, with the others around him/her acting as yes-persons. There is necessity for transactions to be conducted with speed for there is a line of victims awaiting judgement and as this grows, some of them make good their escape, confident that the worst that can happen is an e-challan for violation which any day is to be preferred to the endless wrangling that can happen under the tree, subject to the heckling of the yes men, the snarky comments by the senior policeman and the interested gaze of passersby.

All of this, if we are to believe that latest law, will soon be a thing of the past. MMM wonders if our roads will not become a tad dull, without this daily dose of drama unfolding under our very noses. But then violators and violations will still continue to give us plenty of local colour.

Singara Posters

Our Chief Minister was the one who gave us the slogan Singara Chennai and much did we rejoice in it. To give the man due credit he did do his bit but where he failed rather spectacularly was in reining in his party beloveds from splashing the city with posters of him and his family, apart from due honourable mentions of themselves of course.

Now such an opening statement from The Man from Madras Musings will he is sure have the party beloveds jumping on his neck. What about Mater Dei they will ask. And what about World Preceptor? Have their parties not indulged in poster wars? To this MMM has a few answers – he railed against Mater Dei and Old Man when they were in power, and he has also ranted against WP and his local reps when it comes to posters. But that the very person who went to town on Singara Chennai should look the other way when it comes to the poster menace makes MMM wonder somewhat.

The latest in this continuing soap opera is the TANGEDCO beautification attempts. MMM is not sure if you have noticed it, but our transformers are going mod – they are now slim and svelte and also have acquired some glamorous grilles in which they are enclosed. These are painted in Benneton colours as well – pastel greens, gold and blue. And they have holes cut in them to allow for ventilation. All very well no doubt but what is of interest is that these provide enormous flat surfaces which is like honey to party beloveds. All of them had posters during the recent birthday celebrations. And after it was all over, MMM saw TANGEDCO employees going around tearing the posters off the doors. Is all of this really warranted in a so-called world class metropolis?

MMM also notices that where party worthies reside, their compound walls are remarkably free of graffiti and posters. No doubt because they are firm votaries of the Singara Chennai concept. The same is not applicable to their neighbours, all of whom have to bear the brunt of the neighbourly spirit – each day their walls play host to several posters and on some days they also become convenient supports for large cutouts and banners. All in the name of ‘adjust please’ (or else) no doubt.

That said, MMM rather enjoys reading the captions and texts of the various posters. They always give him a good laugh. ‘Papa of the State’ read one which MMM would perhaps rank the best. But there were several others, mostly in highly feudal panegyrics, which makes MMM wonder as to which era he is living in. Of course mind you, MMM still feels that posters today are hardly what they were during Mater Dei’s time. That was their golden era – daft slogans galore, pictures designed by hugely creative minds (there was one that showed world leaders propitiating Mater Dei), and of course enormous cut outs and banners.

But even then, there was the proverbial fly in the ointment – a tiny man called Traffic Ramaswami. He may have gone but MMM is sure other crusaders will come up. MMM lives in hope.

– MMM