A good mix

The Man from Madras Musings has always laughed to himself over how the powers that were did not see the irony behind naming the organisation Chennai Metro Water and Sewerage Board (CMWSSB). Or perhaps they did and planned it as an elaborate joke on the masses? MMM is of the view that you can never put anything beyond the powers of our political lords and masters. Anyway, all of this came to MMM’s mind when one day, W & S really did mix, in keeping with the organisation’s name, in MMM’s locality.

It all began with some of the neighbours complaining of a peculiar smell in the water supply. They were surprised that MMM did not notice anything and later it transpired that they were in reality not so, because they did not consider MMM to be very bright anyway. And so, they appealed to his good lady, also known as She Who Must Be Obeyed and sure enough, she, who can smell anything fishy a mile away, agreed that yes, there was a smell.

MMM, if consulted, would have advised everyone to lie low and pray that the smell, whatever be its cause, should go. In his view, water in the city stinks even under normal circumstances, the more so if you do not open a tap for a few days. If you are not in agreement MMM suggests that you go on a vacation and come back and open the taps in your house thereafter. Chances are that you will feel you are bathing in the Cooum.

But then, who listens to sage counsel like that of MMM these days? A delegation waited on the local JE or whatever the person is called and the officer agreed to investigate. His findings revealed that W & S had mixed up in the locality and of course the cause was conveniently given out as the Metro Rail project that is tearing up the earth in the vicinity. The JE agreed that something out to be done and so he shut off the water supply pending further investigation. And since then, of W, at least of the variety that comes from CMWSSB there has been no sign. Presumably the S continues to flow. Of smell there is none. But of water also there is none.

This shutting off of the main happened a few weeks back and of repair activity too, there has been none. Thereafter, recourse has been had to what is known as borewell water. This is a coffee-coloured liquid that also seems to indicate that Chennai may be located on an oil field for it takes ages to get soap suds to form and then once formed, to be rinsed off. Everything tarnishes in borewell water -silver is streaked with brown and whites emerge a dull grey after one wash. Fittings become multi-hued and porcelain, of the variety that is used in WCs and basins, become yellow. Even MMM, as Perhaps Greatest Writer would have put it, looks like a son of toil buried beneath a ton of soil.

Some of the neighbours have taken to buying water in tankers and that is a saga unto itself. The multiple follow-ups for ensuring the vehicle does come and the build-up to the actual offloading of the water, replete with traffic holdups, roars from all and sundry including the tanker operator and his helpers, are all the stuff of saga.

But having tired of it all, there is now a groundswell of opinion that we ought to have lived with the smell. And the repair work, when it does happen, does not guarantee its going away anyway. W&S will coexist, rather like, as PGW would have said, like Swan & Edgar, Gilbert & Sullivan and Marks & Spencer. It was a union made in heaven.

Fan Mail

As readers of Madras Musings are aware, the magazine is steadily building up a fan base in China. All kinds of interesting messages are received, which no doubt are written in idiomatic Mandarin, as a result of which, we are unable to make out the true adulation manifest in it. MMM gives you what has come recently –

Hi Editor

I hope this message finds you well. 

We are a professional exporter specializing in office and printing paper. Our main products include:

  • Copy paper
  • Printing paper
  • Thermal paper
  • Cultural and printing papers

We offer a full range of sizes and specifications, with support for custom packaging and OEM branding.

Our products have been exported to Southeast Asia, Africa, and the Middle East, and are well known for their consistent quality and competitive pricing.

We would be happy to share our product catalog and provide free samples for your evaluation.

Looking forward to building a long-term and trusted partnership with you.

Best regards,

Mr.Zeng

Chengdu Xiangdexing

Paper Co., Ltd.

MMM is flattered that Mr Zeng has felt that the paper can buy his products and what is more important, build a long term and trusted partnership. Which is more than can be said of some long term readers who only complain of non-receipt of Madras Musings. It is time we began a China Chimings or some such paper. What say, Madam Editor?

Tailpiece

Walking about in rival city which has perennial traffic problems, The Man from Madras Musings noticed this advert (side). He wonders as to what Washing Boys are and as to what a Free Launch is.

– MMM