Dog Show at the Museum

The Man from Madras Musings is not sure how many of you read the recent news item about priceless artefacts being strewn about carelessly in the famed Government Museum of our city. The verdict was that the place had gone to the dogs. MMM was not surprised as he had long ago come to the same conclusion. But he was surprised at the number of forwards he received of the same report, some with the gratuitous suggestion that he ought to do something about it. MMM did not bother to reply. His influence, if any, over governmental matters is minuscule and he also knows that getting involved in such things means tying yourself up in red tape with no chance of ever being released.

But as to how much the museum had gone to the dogs became manifest to MMM only when he visited the place last week to attend a play at the Museum Theatre. It was late in the evening and therefore the vast campus was quite dark. Adding to the general visibility issues was the fact that the entire precinct seemed to be in the throes of major construction activity with metal barricades raised at random. Driving past these to look for a parking slot seemed a daunting task but help was at hand by way of a friendly watchman who waved his hand to indicate the direction in which MMM had to drive.

The handkerchief-sized parking lot was quite full and MMM, after having tried his best at steering the car into a slot, decided to look elsewhere. Once again a friendly watchman was at hand and he suggested that MMM drive on to the rear of the theatre and park at a site which he said was large and relatively unoccupied. MMM drove on and at a particular point lost his bearings and instead of taking a left, drove ahead. He crossed a large arch and found that he had come to the rear of the museum itself. There was plenty of space, enough to park a hundred cars. In the gathering darkness, MMM got off his vehicle and having locked it, prepared to walk towards the theatre.

It was at this juncture that he was compelled to pay attention to what he had till then dismissed as a rustling of the bushes close by. It turned out to be a dog sniffing at MMM’s heels. Now, MMM is not the kind that is deterred by canines and so he walked on. What he did not bargain for was the dog, evidently a newcomer like MMM to the campus, deciding that MMM was its saviour. It stuck close to MMM and man and dog walked on only to suddenly come into the midst of what could be taken to be the climactic scene from The Hound of the Baskervilles. Only if you will recollect, the novel had one hound while now MMM was surrounded by what seemed to be a full pack. The baying reached alarming levels and reinforcements by way of other dogs seemed to be in the offing. MMM, still undeterred, decided to walk on though by now his confidence was a little shaken. However, the first dog – the one that had taken shelter under MMM’s feet, clearly decided that he was not much of a guardian and chose to scoot, whereupon the entire pack followed the animal, leaving MMM to walk ahead, shaken but not stirred.

It was at this juncture that an apparition manifested – enough to make MMM’s knotted and combined locks, if any, to stand on end. It was a third watchman arriving, asking MMM to remove his car at once from the place where he had parked it. MMM asked as to why and the watchman replied that he was requesting this for MMM’s own safety. After the play, he said it would be close to 10:00 PM and nobody in their right senses could walk through that dark corridor to get his car. Why, asked MMM. Was the place haunted? No Sir, came the reply, it is the dogs that are the biggest menace. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valour, MMM, under the guidance of this watchman, drove on and reached a well-lit spot in the museum campus where he parked his car. But he could not help reflecting as to how, had it not been for this watchman, he would have at 10:00 PM that night been probably chewed to pieces with one M at the theatre, another at the Connemara Public Library and a third at the museum building.

A Low Key Birthday

You may not have noticed it, but on the 22nd of the last month, a significant birthday was celebrated. It was that of the chief minister (who else did you think it was?). And it was so low key that it was hardly a chief ministerial birthday. It was not even a party functionary’s birthday going by our past track record. The Man from Madras Musings has to admit that the new boy is ticking all the right boxes and may he continue to do so for the rest of his tenure.

Some of you, who are the new incumbent’s followers, may bristle at MMM’s usage of the word boy but let him assure you that he does not mean it as anything derogatory. On the same day MMM too reached a certain landmark age far in excess of what the chief minister has reached and therefore the latter is a boy in comparison. But let MMM get back to the point at issue which is the birthday. Where Sir are the banners? What about the posters extolling him as the Aristotle of another age? Where were the arches? What about the deafening drums? And the dancing men, and women? And finally, where were the traffic blocks?

MMM feels that a large chunk of what was recent heritage has been given the go by. Fostered by matinee idol and made into a fine art by Mater Dei, the birthday celebrations reached a crescendo under Pater Familias and family. And now, at least for the nonce, the city has breathed easy. But for how long is the question. It may not be long before some important party factotum breathes into the leader’s ear that there is not enough publicity in such silent birthdays and so in the interest of optics, the leader should have a noisy series of events. In such a scenario will the new leader listen to the voice of reason or the voice of popularity? Time alone will tell. If he decides to be different, then he is truly in the mould of an earlier leader, one who laid the seeds of industrialization in this state and whose benefits we are still reaping. If not, he will be of the populist kind that we have got used to in recent times. MMM is watching with bated breath. After all the reputation of 22nd June as a great day hangs in the balance.

– MMM